How to chat with girls has always been a headache for many boys. Although I have tried so hard to have a good chat, I still can’t get the other person’s favor. What’s the reason?
In fact, this situation may occur because you have entered these two chat minefields.
1. Exposing the sense of need vs releasing availability
"The sense of need" refers to the feeling of need among girls Show your desire for her in front of her and reveal your purpose of being with her.
Many friends, in order to express their special feelings, go out of their way to show that they have to do with her, but they ignore whether the time is appropriate to do so.
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As everyone knows, these behaviors are exposing your shortcomings and making you lose your competitiveness.
The reason why this happens is that you rashly ask for value from girls before the relationship is established.
For example, a household check-style chat is asking for personal information from the other party.
If you can tell more about yourself during this process and reduce the sense of asking, it will not offend girls.
Another example is when you don’t know each other well enough, you treat girls without a bottom line.
This does not show how much you love her, but it will make the girl doubt whether your kindness to her is sincere, but don’t stop eating because of choking.
Some friends are afraid of exposing their needs and dare not truly express their true inner thoughts. They always pretend that they don’t like girls, mistakenly making girls think that you have no feelings for her.
Releasing availability refers to releasing our favorable signals and telling girls that it is possible for you to be together.
To put it simply, we take the first step first, and then guide girls to take the initiative to take the next 99 steps.
For example, you can hint to her that you like some of her qualities, but you can’t let her confirm whether you like her: "I think girls who love sports are very attractive. Are you very attractive?" Do you like playing basketball?"
This will not expose your neediness, but also make girls want to continue to get along with you.
Or you can guide a girl to take the initiative to give, and then express recognition for her contribution, such as sharing with her when you encounter troubles, and then thanking her for listening and accompanying her.
This kind of positive feedback will make a girl more willing to pay for you and make it harder for her to let go.you.
When interacting with girls, we can neither expose our sense of need nor completely release our availability. If you understand the difference between the two, most of your chat problems will be solved.
2. Good men vs bad men
In our understanding, most girls like mature men who are responsible, responsible, steady and gentlemen.
Therefore, in the process of getting along with girls, we will subconsciously show a very reserved state, and we will always maintain our image of gentlemen when interacting with girls.
Or we may blindly show our high value and blindly pursue a high life.
As time goes by, you will find that the more dignified you act, the easier it is for you to fall into awkward situations when chatting with girls.
Because you have ignored the implicit attribute behind a "good man", which is the sense of distance.
When you first get to know someone, having a gentlemanly image can indeed give you a lot of points, but it will also make girls subconsciously keep a distance from you.
She will admire you and interact with you, but she will hardly have a heart to heart with you.
At the same time, the image of a "good man" will restrict a girl's words and behavior, giving her the illusion of being tied up, making her unwilling to show her truest self in front of you.
Girls are more likely to fall in love with "bad men" who are narcissistic, humorous, and can make people happy.
This is because "bad men" know better how to stimulate girls' emotions and let girls enjoy happiness in the interaction.
Just like in the following case, deliberately treating the girl's behavior as to please yourself and acting very narcissistic will make the girl find it interesting to chat with you.
Similarly, the image of a "bad man" will also have side effects, that is, it is easy for girls to lose their sense of security and make you a girl. I think you are unreliable.
So you must learn to grasp the balance between "good" and "bad", and only in this way will it be easier for girls to fall in love with you.
The key to chasing girls is chatting. A boy with high emotional intelligence and good chatting skills is often more likely to win the heart of girls.
On the contrary, it will be difficult for a girl to open up to you and develop a relationship smoothly.
If in the process of chasing a girl, you always chat in silence, always make the girl angry with your unintentional words, or the girl always ignores you and has an indifferent attitude... You can add to learn how to chat with girls.
